Isha Knill - Business Coaching
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Behaviour and Beliefs

Isha Knill - Saturday, June 03, 2017

I saw this post on Facebook and have wanted to do a blog about it ever since as I feel it’s missing information.  We are judged by our behaviour but what this post overlooks is the fact that it is our belief’s that drive our behaviour.  The two are intrinsically linked, one cannot go without the other.  If you want to change behaviour, you have to change beliefs first.

Behaviour is a symptom of a cause…if you want to see the behaviour change then you need to get underneath it to find what’s creating the behaviour, but before you can do this, you have to help someone to see that their behaviour isn’t helping them and the only way you can do this is through consciousness.

So, in truth the above post is incorrect it isn’t your behaviour or beliefs that make you a better person, it is consciousness that makes you a better person.  When someone becomes aware aka conscious that their behaviour isn’t making them a better person, then they are able to explore why they behave the way they do. 

This brings them to exploring their belief systems which ultimately brings them to changing these systems which then changes their behaviour but none of this is possible without awareness/consciousness.

Something I frequently say to the people I work with is don’t judge the behaviour because you are only looking at the symptom of a deeper cause. 

If you don’t feel the behaviour you are seeing is helping the person, then what is important is to help open this person up (through facilitation) which is essentially bringing consciousness to the behaviour so you are then able to explore with them how they have been taught to think.  It is their thinking that is causing them to respond and behave the way they are.

The step that is important first is to explore in yourself why you feel that their behaviour isn’t helping. Your response to their behaviour can be more about what you have been taught to think aka your beliefs which are causing you to respond to their behaviour not necessarily that their behaviour is ‘wrong’.

Having compassion for behaviour (both in yourself and in others) enables you to explore the behaviour from a place of empathy and caring which ultimately can change the beliefs that sit underneath the behaviour. 

Judging behaviour only gets more of the same behaviour because you aren’t giving the person a pathway out of where they are to where they need to go.

So, in the future, when you see behaviour in your children, partner or even work colleagues, understand that this behaviour is being caused by something.  When you bring consciousness to the behaviour, both in why you are responding to the behaviour and what is causing them to behave the way they do, then you can get to want is sitting underneath this behaviour which can enable you to hopefully embed meaningful change.

 


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